Family Keepsakes and Making Room for Your Life
Some of the belongings in our homes come from the generations before us. Others come from a generation after us.
Our parents’ and grandparents’ furniture, photographs, and keepsakes carry family history. Our children’s artwork and handmade treasures capture seasons we want to remember.
We keep them because we feel connected to the people behind them. Sometimes, we also keep them because we feel responsible.
Somewhere among all those belongings, we need room to live our own lives.
I help clients work through these decisions. And I, myself, have a dresser in my living room that reminds me how heavy and personal these items can be.
When “What if?” keeps us holding on
My grandfather’s highboy sits in an entry room in my home. It provides storage for things we use as we come and go. I’ve found a way to enjoy it while letting it serve my life today.
The antique dresser in my living room feels different. It holds keepsakes from my grandparents and my mother. I enjoy looking at some of what’s inside, but keeping both the dresser and its contents also feels like a responsibility.
When I consider letting things go, I hear myself asking the same question my clients ask: What if I want to look at this again someday?
That’s a fair question. Once we let go of something irreplaceable, we will not be able to get it back. I understand the hesitation of saying "goodbye" to something forever.
But keeping things for a possible future affects the present, too. A dresser occupies space in a living room. I have also seen large inherited pieces fill a newly created family room that was, of course, intended for quality family time. The things we’re saving determine how we use our space.
So alongside “What if I want this someday?” we can ask: What do I need from this space today?
Both questions deserve consideration.
How would I like to enjoy what I’m keeping?
Inside my dresser are Valentine cards my grandmother received when she was a teacher. Aunt Marsha, who is fascinated by genealogy and history, passed them along to me.
I feel responsible for those cards. I also enjoy them.
While thinking about why I keep them, an idea occurred to me: perhaps I could create a Valentine decoration and bring them out each February. I could appreciate the cards and share a little of my grandmother’s story. If you know me, you know the next thing I am going to say is "I will squeeze the last bit of love out of those cards". In advance I give myself permission to let them go when they become too tattered to enjoy.
I envision a garland of cards, a project to honor the past and a plan for the future. I haven’t created it yet. But imagining it helped me move beyond the question of whether to keep them.
How would I like to enjoy what I’m keeping?
That question gives me something useful to consider. The cards could become part of a seasonal tradition. Other keepsakes might belong in an accessible box that I can pull out when I want to revisit them.
And I can consider the dresser separately. Keeping meaningful things inside it doesn’t automatically mean that this particular piece of furniture must remain their home.
I don’t have to resolve every decision at once.
Finding an amount that feels right
A similar question comes up when I help clients with their children’s artwork.
Usually, they’ve already enjoyed displaying it. Now they’re ready to store it, and they’re deciding how much to save.
This is one way I apply my first organizing tenet: Minimum Plus One. We look for an amount that feels meaningful and manageable to the person keeping it.
We start with instinct. I might suggest choosing five favorite pieces. If choosing favorites feels difficult, we can start by eliminating five least favorites.
We pause and notice how they feel towards the remaining items. I might ask: How do you feel about what you’ve kept? Are your favorites here? Does this feel comfortable, or would you like to go through it again?"
Five is simply a starting point. There’s no requirement to arrive at a particular number. We keep checking in so the person can recognize when they feel comfortable with their choices.
A few favorite kindergarten works of art can represent an entire year of creating, reminding a parent of that little person and that season of their family’s life.
I believe our memories live deep inside us. The things we keep give us something tangible to connect with those memories. A few items can represent an entire category.
That doesn’t mean every collection needs to be reduced in the sa
me way. Irreplaceable family photographs may call for different decisions than a stack of similar school projects. Your connection to the belongings matters.
Keep it manageable and easy to revisit
Once we’ve chosen what to keep, we give it a home that makes it easy to retrieve.
For my clients, that often means a manageable collection of artwork stored so they can find it, look through it and add to it if needed. They’ve finished displaying it; accessible storage serves their purpose now.
For my grandmother’s Valentine cards, I’m considering a reason to bring them out each year.
The answer depends on what you want from the belongings. Would you like to view them privately? Share their stories with family? Enjoy them at a particular time of year?
Knowing that can help you decide both how much to keep and where it belongs.
Room for the present
We can’t know everything we’ll want or need in the future. That uncertainty makes these decisions tender.
We can, however, pay attention to what we enjoy, what we feel responsible for, and how much space we’re comfortable giving those belongings.
Start with a small group. Pick a few favorites, or let go of a few things you feel less connected to. Pause for a "feelings" check. Give yourself time to notice what feels right.
Our parents’ keepsakes and our children’s creations can have a place in our homes. Our own lives deserve space there, too.
If you’d like support finding an amount that feels right to you, let’s begin with a complimentary Bright Conversation. We can work through the decisions together, at your pace.
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